April 26, 2012

Overwhelmed by God

I just finished the nicest quiet time - a rainy day, a cup of coffee, quiet music, quiet kiddos! :)  Although I did have to use great imagination so that I could forget about my insanely topsy turvy house!  As I was to trying to imagine the mess and the to do list away (which by the way didn't work!), I began to think over the last three years, and I saw how God has been and is continuing to change my desires.  It is hard to see many of the changes God makes in our lives because many times they are gradual and even subtle, but it so fun to look back over a long period of time and see how God has stretched you and grown you!  Before I go any further, I just need to stop and say that all the praise goes to Jesus for these changes.  I would never have made these decisions or had a change in my desires on my own.  It has only been God's sweet and amazing grace that has made me who I am.

Back to my thoughts of how God has changed my desires.  Three years ago, the Mr. and I were deep in the middle of house plans - MAJOR house plans.  It was to be our dream home - our forever home - the home our kiddos would grow up in and come back to when they had kids.  Three years later, here we sit, in our little over 1100 square feet very humble abode with seven people all packed in!  But you know, a few nights ago, the Mr. and I were actually talking about how NICE it is to be here.  We truly are forced (sometimes that is the most accurate word :) ) to be a family - a close family.  Everybody knows everybody's business in this place, and you know what?  That's good!  No secrets, no hiding, no shutting people out.  Now, please do not misunderstand me.  I'd still love to have that dream home, and I even pray for it every now and then.  But it has been "freeing" to set aside that burden of want and to be happy with where I am now.

I was also thinking of how we live in the middle of nowhere - seriously!  It takes me 20 minutes to get to any store.  It takes me 5 minutes to get to any neighbor, and - this is what almost killed me when I first moved here almost twelve years ago - it takes me 50 minutes to get to a Wal-Mart!!!  I have always enjoyed living out here for the most part, but a few days ago, I was reminded of the practicality of it.  You see, I'm a girl who wants to be in the middle of everything.  I believe that if I lived in the middle of town, I would never stay home!!!  I would always be at a store or with a friend or having someone over if I did finally decide to stay at home.  I'm glad that God placed me out here and has stretched me and grown me and made me make my family become my world.  That's not to say we don't have room for others.  We do, and we love times with other people, and we enjoy serving others, but we do a family!

One of the last ways God has been growing and changing me (well, there are many more, but the last I'll mention today) is in homeschooling.  I grew up being homeschooled, and honestly, I loved it!  I loved that I could set my pace and my schedule (within reason).  I loved being able to work a job at 16!  I loved being with my family all the time.  However, I decided when I had kids I was not going to homeschool because I was pretty sure I would want a break from my kids! :)  Guess what?  Because I live an hour away from the closest Christian schools, I was FORCED to homeschool my oldest in kindergarten!  That was the plan - ONLY for kindergarten.  Well, she's almost done with third grade, and we're still homeschooling.  What's even better is that we really do enjoy it!  I love teaching my kiddos to read and write (math - not so much), and I think, for the most part, they enjoy being at home all day!  Again, don't get me wrong!  I'd still love a break from my kiddos every now and then, and I'm accepting any and all volunteers (within reason) for any who would like to take the five hoodlums for a few hours, but I don't know if anyone can understand the depth of my thankfulness to God for these three changes He made for me!  Again, it is all Him because I would have never made any of these decisions on my own!  God has been so faithful in this journey of my life, and I love that in His sovereignty, He has given me far better than what I had planned!'ve listened to me ramble.  What about you?  Can you look back and see how God has blessed you by keeping you from your own plans?  How is your life different because of God's work in your heart and life?  I'd love to hear about your little blessings!  Isn't God just good? 

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