September 28, 2011

The Desires of My Heart

Yes, if you happened to notice the time of the publishing of this post, it is accurate...4:52 AM to be exact! Sleep has not come very easily the past few weeks, and it is becoming a habit to watch the clock slowly click by from 1 AM to 5 AM. So, I thought I would try to make my time a little more profitable and see what kind of thoughts I could place on "paper" at this insane time of the morning.

God has been working so much in my heart and life this week. It has been so good to see this because, to be honest, I have felt many times this summer, like God just kind of....well....dumped me off His project list and moved on to someone else! As I look back, though, I am beginning to see where God was still very much working in my life to prepare me for His exact purpose. There have been prayers that I have prayed for YEARS that I have seen answered this week! Some have been really teensy tiny prayers, but some....some have been prayers that came from the very depths of my being.

God once again reminded me of how well He knows me and cares for me as I was reading Psalm 139:2 to my kiddos yesterday. "Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off." It may seem like God has forgotten us or dropped us off in the middle of craziness and chaos just to see what our next reaction will be, but the truth is God knows and cares about every detail of our lives...big or small.

This brings me to one of my favorite verses - Psalm 37:4: "Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart." What do you do when you feel as though God has forgotten where you are and what you are doing? Continue to delight in Him - please Him, take joy in serving Him, draw as close to Him as you can because He is watching the big picture, and one day, when you are least expecting it, He will give you that desire of your heart in a more amazing way than you would have ever dreamed!

So...sit back and delight in your God today - the God who has created you, the God who knows you better than you know yourself, the God who will never leave you, the God who has promised to give you the desires of your heart....and so much more!

September 13, 2011

Impressing God

It's strange how our our human minds think. We look at a title like "Impressing God" and think, well, that's impossible so let's not even try. Yet, we spend much of our day trying to impress every one else when in reality that's impossible too. I have spent many days doing things in hopes that various people will notice what I'm doing and congratulate me on my efforts. Instead, many times things go unnoticed or even criticized after I have worked so hard to make them just so. It is extremely frustrating, but it has also allowed God to work in my heart.

To begin with, God has showed me that this is a pride filled life, and maybe, just maybe, all my hard work is criticized or unnoticed to put that pride in it's place! Secondly, God has really been showing me that I need to live my life according to His expectations - not mine OR anyone else's. Then, if I am criticized or unnoticed, I can rest in the fact that I am doing it God's way.

I read an article from the magazine "Home Educating Family." The article was entitled "The New Proverbs 31 Woman" and was written by Mary Hall. It was essentially describing what the world would consider to be the model mom and wife in today's world. The article closed with this:

"If these things exceed all your dreams and desires,
Remember they're more than our Scripture requires.
When we strive to emulate what we are not,
We may impress folks, but we won't impress God.
And what is the point of impressing each other?
Does it minister to our sisters and brothers?
We should do good things, but with right motivation -
With grateful hearts filled with pure adulation!
For God seeks the hearts of those who want to pray,
Who know that they need His forgiveness each day.
Because there's not one of us who can achieve
What our awesome Lord did for us, if we believe."

It is in many ways very liberating to realize that we don't need to impress anyone. We just need to humbly come before God, lay our expectations at His feet, and ask Him to humbly use us to accomplish His expectations for this one day He has blessed us with.

September 8, 2011

Slow re-entry!'s been awhile, and I hardly know where to begin! I don't know how many of you are this way, but I am very much the kind of person who does not want to do something unless I can continue through with it wholeheartedly. This is sometimes a good thing but sometimes a not so very good thing! This is the reason that I took an unplanned "vacation" from blogging. This summer was absolutely nothing close to the way I envisioned it. Yes, you remember those previous blogs.... I pictured my LITTLE pregnant self sitting on the porch basking in the sun while I watched my four little perfect angels play happily together after having taken the time each day to work with them on character training. BAHHHHAAAA!!!!!

Instead, my summer was more like this....I gained weight at an unmerciful rate, felt like a huge blob, had terrible headaches that left me in bed for days at a time, and had so much to catch up on when there were no headaches that I could feel myself sinking into the "Great Depression" as I looked at my house! I finally felt human again for about 4 weeks and was able to catch up on a lot of my to-do list. But alas I feel that plummetting feeling again as I try to make it through each day after very long sleepless nights due to allergies and back problems!

Wow....nothing like an encouraging blog, huh? I hesitated as to whether or not I should post this, but my goal since becoming a mom has been to be real. I had such an ideal picture of motherhood that was slammed into outer space before I even brought my first baby home from the hospital. I determined then that, yes, I can be positive, but I can still be real too. I am not going to pretend like I have it all together because I don't. I am not going to act as though other moms are horrid for saying "that" because, usually, I've thought much worse! Right, moms? Admit it. We have so much pressure on us to be perfect and to make perfect angels, but all we are really doing is showing our children what a perfect hypocrite we are! (Ok...I'll step down from the soapbox now!)

So, how's that child training been working for you, Christy? Well, to be has not been ideal, but my children have learned how to help and sacrifice when Mommy isn't feeling well. Some of their behaviors and attitudes are not what I want them to be due to a lack of discipline and routine while I have not felt well, but all in all, I must say the summer was not a complete failure...and there is always a new start. How thankful I am for those! We began our school year a couple of weeks ago, and we have begun incorporating our character training into our schedule. It is a work in progress, but isn't it always? I am looking forward to the gardening being finished up and slowing down a little more so that I can be a well-rested mom (there goes that unrealistic thing again!) who can example the character traits a little better than what I am right now! I'm also trying out some new vitamins that will hopefully energize me a little more and maybe a few more trips to the chiropractor will provide more sleep. I can always hope, anyway! :)

So, all that to say was not ideal this summer, but I have learned a lot. I've learned that sometimes my expectations are not God's. I've learned flexibility. I've had to exercise humility. Most of all, I've learned that I have lots more to learn. So, I will take each day one at a time, accomplish what I can with the strength God infuses me with, be grateful for what was done and wake up the next day ready to do it all again! :) And soon, less than 12 weeks to be exact, I will finally get to meet this little one who has done a very good job at upsetting all my plans. What a great reward!