August 2, 2013

No Choice but Faith

One thing that this quickly growing world of communication has shown me is that there are many, many hurting people in this world and that I am blessed beyond measure.  We are bombarded with stories of children fighting cancer, families trying to put back the pieces of their lives after fatal accidents, grandparents coping with the idea that they will never see their grandchildren grow up because they are facing certain death.  It can become quite depressing especially if we see these things happening in the lives of people who do not recognize that there is a sovereign God who cares about them.  I have recently found a mom who has spent the last 15 months of her life at the hospital with her baby who was born premature.  For fifteen months, this mom's life has been completely put on hold, and everything has focused on helping her baby become well enough to one day come home.  However, God had other plans for this little one, and just a week ago, brought her to Heaven with Him.  This mom's faith and testimony through this time has been astounding, but the post she wrote just a week after her baby girl's death brought me to my knees in repentance for my selfishness and lack of faith in God.  I thought I would share her words with you today.

Thoughts from a mom grieving her daughter's death:
I continue to feel each and everyone of your prayers. Through this time I find myself asking God. God why am I doing so well during this time of loss. I miss her so much and the love I have for Halle is unimaginable. His answer to me. He reminded of the time I was transported to UAB at 18 weeks pregnant. Every doctor that came in and checked me, looked at the ultrasound, and spoke with me said this baby will not live. You will miscarriage. God spoke to me that day and said I will take care of you. You will be fine. I did not know if it was because she would live or if it was because He would call her home to be with Him. So, as I was questioning Him about my grieving , He brought that back to my attention. He always keeps His promise. It was up to me to have faith and trust in Him that He was going to take care of me. No matter how hard times would get. He never let me down. I have so many people write, or stop in walmart and say you are so strong your faith is amazing. No!!! Its ALL GOD. I give Him all the glory. Without Him I am nothing. He is my ALL. He gives me strength, He gives me peace, He provides in every need I have, His LOVE is more than I can ever imagine. His LOVE for Halle is more than I can imagine. I loved her and still love her soooo much. Its hard for me to realize that He can love her more. But without a doubt He does, and I'm so grateful for that. Because that, in itself is why I can sleep at night without any problems. How I get up every morning and be the mother and wife I have to be. God is good yall. I pray everyone can experience Him in way that I have been able to through the journey. I pray and ask Him to continue to strengthen my faith more. Give me trials where I have no choice but to have faith. That might sound crazy to some. But....I long for that personal, intimate relationship with Him. Where I have no choice but to run to God because theirs nothing I can do on my own. My life is so much better when its stress free. When all my fears and worries are cast on Him.
I love you all and thanks for all the prayers.

The last part literally took my breath away.  I will admit that I have selfishly prayed, "Please, God, don't ever let that happen to me."  And here, this mom has lost her baby and is asking for more trials so that her faith in God can grow even more.  "Give me trials where I have no choice but to have faith."  That is a prayer filled with faith already!  And so today, as I pray for this mom - who even though she has an amazing faith is still struggling in a very real and human way, I'm sure - as I pray for her, I pray also that God would give me that kind of faith.  Faith that will put aside my selfish desires and say, "God make me completely yours.  Give me no choice but faith!"  How about you?  Have you experienced God in a very real way because of a trial that has been chosen for you by Him?  Have you been able to see your faith grow in a way only God can grow it?  Is a personal and intimate relationship with God your heart's desire?
Wishing you a day full of blessings,

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