February 19, 2013

When My Heart Is Overwhelmed...

I love to be an encouragement with this blog, but I also feel the need to be real as well.  There is nothing perfect about my life, and I never have it all together.  Truthfully, my heart is overwhelmed in so many different ways today.  My kiddos seem to be taking 5 steps backward and absolutely no steps forward in things that they know to do.  I have friends who are hurting and facing some serious decisions that will affect their entire life and for some their children's lives.  And then, there are just the everyday things as more school assignment that needs to be checked, one more phone call that needs to be answered, one more note I really feel I need to write and send out, even just the fact that one more prayer needs to be sent up.  Life becomes tiring, and I find myself continually asking the question, "Why should I keep trying when everything I am doing goes backward instead of forward?"  As I have been mulling many different thoughts over in my mind particularly during these last two days, God, in His wonderfully gracious and faithful way, has been reminding me of some things I have forgotten.

I have realized, first of all, that I have much to be thankful for.  It is only because of God's grace that I am not facing some of the things that others are.  I am thankful that God is sovereign and that even though there are some heartbreaking circumstances happening, God knows and has planned every detail of each situation and nothing has taken Him by surprise. I have also been reminded to pray that God prepares my heart now for whatever future plans He may have for my life.

God has also reminded me that He is God, and I am not.  I am finite; He is incomprehensible.  I can only see right in front of me; He sees it all - every choice, every consequence, every detail that leads to the next detail.  He sees it all.  So, as I am looking at the road directly in front of me, He is seeing all around me, ahead of me and behind me, and He has it all mapped out.  He is gently guiding, leading, directing, orchestrating life that it might bring glory to Him and give this world a better glimpse of His beauty and holiness.

I am also thankful that God is working in me.  The need that I feel to fix my world and everyone else's is a God-given compassion, and it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit's working in me.  Not that I have by any means achieved any great accomplishment.  It has only been because of what God has done in my heart.  This thought has made me realize that God has given me this compassion so that I can show His love to others in a more real way than before.

Gently, God has reminded me that even though this compassion was given to me by Him, it is not my job to fix everything.  I cannot.  I am only a human - full of sin and selfishness - who must rely on the Holy Spirit for even the smallest decision I make if I am to be assured it is the right decision.  There is nothing I can do in my own strength and the harder I try, the more I will fail.  

And so, today, the prayer of my heart has been Ephesians 1:17-19.  
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you (me) a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.  I pray that the eyes of your (my) heart may be enlightened, so that you (I) will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us (me) who believe(s).
Because, after all, when life gets overwhelming, the only place to go for true comfort and reassurance is to our Heavenly Father who so delights in showing Himself to us and spending time with us.  I pray that you have taken the time today to quietly sit in the presence of the One who loves you so.

Wishing you a day full of blessings,

Counting God's Little Blessing - 3 Every Day:

31.  The comfort of God's love and sovereignty.
32.  This song that I've been teaching to our kiddos.  The timing is truly a God-thing! (This version isn't my
       favorite, but I couldn't find the one that we have on CD, and it is definitely worth listening to!)
33.  God is every thing I need. 
       Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee? My flesh and        my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. ~Psalm 73:25-26

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