April 4, 2011

Things I Said Before I Had Kids....

This is a painfully embarrassing, yet humorous, post to write. I was just thinking yesterday afternoon of how much my parenting ideas and ideals have changed since finding out I was expecting my first baby. When I became pregnant with my first, I was a 1st and 2nd grade teacher to 21 students. I had decided that my children were NOT going to do a lot of things, and that I would have the perfect family. So, here are my top five most regrettable things I said - starting with the least and working my way to the most regrettable! You are so going to laugh when you read it - well, if you're already a mom, that is!

#5: My child will never whine! you know how many times I have said TODAY, please do not whine. Talk like a big boy/girl. It is not an acceptable form of speech in this house, but the children still do it. I am a firm believer that every child will resort to whining at some point. I have found that consistently pointing it out and not allowing it to continue does help keep it at a minimum.

#4: My child will never look like that! You know you have said the same kid will never be in public with a runny nose or uncombed hair or in an outfit like that. A lot of ideals change when you become desperate and in many cases have no choice! I have walked through the entire Wal-Mart store with puke all over me and my kiddo because I only needed two more items before I was done with my shopping list. Yes, we went to the bathroom and cleaned up as best we could, but it still was not pleasant, I can assure you. However, the option of driving an hour home and driving back another hour to the store again and then driving yet another hour back home was - well - really not an option at all! Just for the record, I do try to make sure we all look normal before going out into public, but a lot can happen between the house and the store.

#3: My children will be potty-trained by the time they are two! Well, if you know me now, you know that philosophy has changed greatly! I was so determined to accomplish this goal, and my oldest was just as determined to not let me! :) None of my children have been potty-trained until they are 2 years and 8 months. Weird, I know, but it's been the same for every one of them, and they really have completely trained within 2 or 3 days! My conclusion on this: every child is different. Every family is different. I will never criticize a mom if her kiddo is not potty-trained by a certain age. Well, age 4 might be pushing it a little, but again, it's her business!

#2: I will never homeschool! I am so glad God changed my heart in this matter. You see, I grew up being homeschooled, and I loved it. I really did, but I always felt sorry for my poor Mom having to be with us all the time. Please don't misunderstand. My mom never made us feel like we were a burden to her - ever. But, when I had my first kiddo, I began to look forward to the day that I could actually be alone and away from this child for a few hours! A very selfish viewpoint - I know, but it was mine. I always thought I would get my kids into kindergarten, and then I would go back to teaching. Because I did love teaching and we lived too far away from a Christian school to justify the driving for a half day of school, I began going through a kindergarten curriculum with my oldest. It was amazing! We bonded so much because we both found we loved to learn and read. This is not to say that there are not days that I would love to send my kiddos away for the day and have some time alone. They can actually be quite frequent at times, but I've found when I have those kind of days, it's because my heart isn't right, and I need to check in with the Holy Spirit.

#1: Are you ready for this? It still makes me cringe when I remember that these words actually came from my mouth. Here goes....I'm not afraid of raising kids. That's the easy part. I'm afraid of labor! Yes, folks, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I SAID THAT! I vividly remember standing there 8 months pregnant saying those words. Thankfully, I cannot remember who exactly I said them to. I remember it was several ladies - all mothers of older children. God bless them for never having come to me and reminded me of that very prideful comment. God shows me every day how incapable I am of raising my kiddos in my own strength, and I also now know how sobering the responsibility is.

While I was thinking of these sayings of mine, it made me wonder how many more I will say? I have a tendency to speak before thinking, and so I am sure there will be more. I am thankful for God's patience and gentle teaching as well as for the patience of other moms who have tried to show me an easier way. So, to moms of little ones, watch what you say. It will come back to haunt you. Yes, it does get tiresome to hear everyone else's opinion but take it as an opportunity to be a blessing to them in allowing them to share something that is obviously very important to them. We moms do not know everything, but we feel like we have to act like we do. Remember, those ladies have been there and have had that same feeling. And one day, I'll be the one laughing once the door closes because of the comment that young mother just made, but then, I pray that I will pray earnestly for that mom as she searches for the answers when she becomes overwhelmed and realizes that 10 labors would be far easier than raising these heatherns! :)


  1. Good post! I have to admit that I felt some of these things, even if I never said them out loud! I was too afraid that they would come back and bite me! :)

  2. First time I came to this site. I LOVE IT. It was so funny, and yes I too have at least thought those same things. May you have a blessed day :)